Many people feel nervous about starting therapy. Whether you’ve booked your very first session, are meeting a new therapist, or are simply interested in therapy but feel too anxious to book – you’re not alone. It’s completely normal to feel unsure or hesitant before getting started.
Reaching out to a therapist is a big and brave first step. If you’ve already taken that step, you should be proud of yourself. And if you haven’t yet, that’s completely understandable. I hope this blog helps you feel one step closer to getting the support you deserve.
In this blog, we’ll explore common reasons for feeling nervous about starting therapy, what to expect in your first session, and a few tips to help ease your anxiety as you take that first step towards support and healing.
Why We Feel Nervous Before Therapy
There are many factors that can contribute to feeling nervous about attending a therapy session. Understanding where those feelings come from can help us feel more in control and confident moving forward.
Here are some of the most common reasons people feel anxious about starting therapy (along with a gentle reframe for each one):
- Fear of the unknown. Not knowing what to expect can be an unsettling feeling. You might wonder how it will feel to talk about personal things, or worry about how the session will go. It’s okay to not have all the answers. Your therapist is there to guide the process at your pace. Later in this blog, we’ll cover what you can expect from your first session.
- Fear of being judged. You might worry that opening up about your thoughts or experiences will be met with judgement. Therapy is a nonjudgemental space. Your therapist’s job is to listen, understand, and help you grow. They are there to support you, not criticize or evaluate you.
- Fear of being vulnerable. Sharing personal experiences or thoughts can feel scary, especially if you’ve had negative experiences with being open in the past. Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness and building trust takes time.Therapy offers a safe space where you can learn to feel comfortable opening up.
- Doubting whether therapy will actually help. You may question if therapy is really worth trying or wonder if change is possible for you. Many people feel unsure at first, and still go on to experience real, meaningful change. It’s okay to start with questions. Therapy is a place where you can explore those doubts openly. Whatever the reason for your nerves, please know that feeling nervous does not mean that therapy isn’t right for you. It is expected to feel anxious about something new and unknown. Knowing what to expect in your first session can help ease some of that uncertainty.
- Feeling like your problems aren’t “serious enough”. Many people downplay their struggles or reasons for attending therapy because they prescribe to the thought that “others have it worse”. If something is affecting your well-being, it matters. We all have different experiences that can affect us in various ways. Therapy is for anyone who wants to feel better, gain clarity, or improve their mental health – not just those in crisis.
- Doubting whether therapy will actually help. You may question if therapy is really worth trying or wonder if change is possible for you. Many people feel unsure at first, and still go on to experience real, meaningful change. It’s okay to start with questions. Therapy is a place where you can explore those doubts openly. Whatever the reason for your nerves, please know that feeling nervous does not mean that therapy isn’t right for you. It is expected to feel anxious about something new and unknown. Knowing what to expect in your first session can help ease some of that uncertainty.
What to Expect in Your First Session
The first session is often about getting to know each other and building a connection with your therapist. You won’t be expected to dive into anything too deep right away (unless you want to!).
Most therapists will start by gently asking questions to understand why you’ve reached out and what’s been going on for you lately. You’ll also talk about things like confidentiality, your goals, and how sessions typically work.
If you’re feeling unsure about where to start or what to say – that’s okay! Your therapist will help guide the conversation. Some clients find it helpful to write down a few thoughts or questions ahead of time, and that’s more than welcome.
Therapy is a collaborative process, not a performance. The first session is just the beginning and you’re allowed to take your time, to feel unsure, and to go at your own pace. You are encouraged to show up as you are – nerves and all.
Tips for Easing Your Anxiety Before Therapy
Remember your “why”
Think about what made you consider therapy in the first place. Whether you’re navigating anxiety, relationship challenges, or just feeling stuck, something inside you knows that it’s time for support.
Write down a few things you want to talk about
You don’t need a script or full summary of your life, but jotting down a few points or questions that you want to bring up can help ease the pressure of trying to remember everything in the moment.
Take the pressure off yourself
It’s completely normal to not have all the answers, goals, or words ready. Therapy is a process. Try to avoid placing unrealistic expectations on yourself, especially for your first session.
Let your therapist know that you’re feeling nervous
It’s more than okay to say, “I feel a little anxious about this.” In fact, you are encouraged to share these feelings in your session! Therapists welcome honesty and acknowledging your feelings can be a strong first step towards working through it.
Do something kind for yourself before your session
Whether it’s going for a walk, listening to music, or taking a few deep breaths, a little self-care can go a long way in calming your nerves.
Final Thoughts
Feeling nervous about starting therapy doesn’t mean that you’re doing anything wrong – it means you’re human. Reaching out for support can feel intimidating, especially if it’s new or unfamiliar. However, seeking support is a powerful act of self-care.
Whether you’re just starting to think about therapy or already have your first session booked, know that you don’t have to feel 100% ready. You just have to be willing to take one small step at a time – and that’s more than enough.
At Ellis Nicolson+associates, we offer free 15-minute virtual consultations to give you a chance to get to know your therapist, ask questions, and learn more about their approach before booking a session. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out! We’re here to support you, wherever you are in your journey.