What is a healthy marriage/relationship?
I believe we are all in pursuit of something meaningful in our lives, and, for most, a healthy relationship provides meaning. But, what does a healthy relationship look like? We first become attracted to another because of eros love. This is the chemistry kind of love, the erotic love, the love that is full of butterflies and roses! It is the kind of love that feels so powerful and intense. But, this kind of love is fleeting; it lasts for moment in the broad scheme of things. Agape love on the other hand, is a love based on commitment, on values, on friendship. More importantly, it is a love that makes the relationship safe in order to reach out to the other. This kind of connectedness (attachment) is contingent on the couple’s emotional responsiveness to the other. A healthy relationship is one where a strong emotionally bond is created. It requires trust, and knowing that you turn to that person for emotionally support regardless of the situation. Sue Johnson explains this concept clearly in this interview.